“And among His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find comfort and repose in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” Quran
It has already been pointed out that marriage is more than love. Indeed, it must be fed by love, but in essence it is a communion of life. What true love seeks is realized in marriage. Love becomes “serious” because it concerns the whole of human life. Marriage consists of a life of work and worry, joy and sorrow, sickness and health; it involves being young and becoming old, dealing with small and big problems, coping with internal and external troubles, and facing individual and social questions, all in loving communication with each other.
“It is important for a husband to understand that his words have tremendous power in his wife’s life. He needs to bless her with words. She’s given her life to love and care for him, to partner with him, to create a family together, to nurture his children. If he is always finding fault in something she’s doing, always putting her down, he will reap horrendous problems in his marriage and in his life. Moreover, many women today are depressed and feel emotionally abused because their husbands do not bless them with their words. One of the leading causes of emotional breakdowns among married women is the fact that women do not feel valued. One of the main reasons for that deficiency is because husbands are willfully or unwittingly withholding the words of approval women so desperately desire. If you want to see God do wonders in your marriage, start praising your spouse. Start appreciating and encouraging her. Every single day, a husband should tell his wife, “I love you. I appreciate you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” A wife should do the same for her husband. Your relationship would improve immensely if you’d simply start speaking kind, positive words, blessing your spouse instead of cursing him or her.”
Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
Husband and wife tend to settle in a routine in which both of them feel like they are taken for granted. Love and affection should always be expressed in the relation of husband and wife. Like every problem has a solution, there is a number of ways which one can help to maintain a healthy and lovely relation between husband and wife
Studies show that marriage offers many benefits. According to Olson and Olson (2000), “Married people tend to be healthier, live longer, have more wealth and economic assets, and have more satisfying sexual relationships than single or cohabiting individuals. In addition, children generally do better emotionally and academically when they are raised in two-parent families”
The physical benefits are widely supported by research. Several recent studies, for example, found heart benefits that are particularly dramatic for men. At Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, researchers assessing the marital intimacy of 10,000 married couples asked the husbands: “Does your wife show you her love?” The husbands who answered yes reported having significantly less chest pain within the next five years than the men who answered no (Ornish, 1998). In another study of 119 men and 40 women, Yale scientists found that husbands who reported feeling loved and supported by their wives had less artery-blockage than those who did not.
Intimacy is an important part of a vibrant, loving marriage. Intimacy can be experienced at many levels, including physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, financial and recreational. Intimacy is nurtured through mutual trust, tenderness, acceptance, open communication, caring, apologies, forgiveness and respecting boundaries. Couples can work together to increase their intimacy in each area as they build their marriage through the years
- Good Attitude – A Muslim must always have a positive attitude toward life. We say, “Alhamdulillah” (Praise be to Allah) for whatever He gives us (or doesn’t give us).
- Help – Our Prophet (peace be upon him) stressed the importance of men helping their wives and Allah tells us the importance of women being mates and helpers to their husbands. This is a real “win-win” situation, if we just follow it.
- Trust – Muslims, men and women are ordered to be trustworthy and follow the example of our prophet (peace be upon him) as the “Trustworthy”
- Respect – You get respect, when you give respect. This is mandatory for all Muslims toward all people, how much more toward the spouse?
- Joy – Our prophet (peace be upon him) used to entertain his wife Aysha (peace be upon her) and she used to play and race with him. She said, “I used to out-run him, but then when I got heavy he used to outrun me”. He told us to play with our wives and have some fun.
- Forgiveness – Clearly, this is one of the most important aspects of Islam. Whoever does not forgive – will not be forgiven. This comes from Allah, Himself. We must learn to forgive each others for a good relationship
- Time – Spend time together. Go for walks. Take a bus ride. Visit a friend or someone who is ill (you get big rewards for that). Fast together on Mondays & Thursdays if you can. Make hajj – this is a great way to get a “new start” on life
- Worship – Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to lead his wife in salat, even though he lived connected to the mosque. He told us not to make our homes like graveyards. We should offer some of our sunnah prayers at home
Husbands was designed by God to be the leader of family,
Womens was designed by God to love his husband and her family,
Secret recipe of Husband and Wife 🙂