Indian officials speaking on condition of anonymity have stated, “We have irrefutable proof that Ajmal Shahzadis a hired agent of the ISI and is working against the interests of India.” It is pertinent to mention that in yesterdays match between England and India, it was likely that India would be able to bag two points however a brilliant knock from the English captain ensured that England did not go down without a fight. It was the six struck by Shahzad that can be marked as the turning point of the game since the Englishmen needed in excess of 10 runs with a few balls remaining.

While talking to the scribe, the Indian officials stated, “There is proof that Ajmal had called up his cousin before the match and said, ‘I’ma kill it, innit.’” Furthermore the officials stated that they had proof that Ajmal was equipped with state of the art cricketing gear that has not yet been seen in the cricketing world.
“His cricketing gear, including his pads, his helmet, his bat, his gloves and his crotch pad was state of the art. This enabled him to hit a massive six straight down the ground which ensured that England go on to tie the match.”

“When we saw it happen, there was little doubt that there has been involvement from Pakistan,” said the official.

Ties between the two bordering nations have been volatile as India has consistently blamed Pakistan for cross-border violations. However, this latest effort from Pakistan has certainly left a bad taste in the mouth of cricket-crazy India. As a result of this involvement by the ISI from across the border, India has bagged only one point in the crucial encounter against England during the ICC World Cup 2011.

The saddest part of this entire episode is the fact that the 98th century of the Indian batting maestro Sachin Tendulkar was rendered useless and the insane amounts of money spent on his endorsements went to waste.

When the scribe contacted Andrew Strauss, the England captain dismissed this suggestion as ‘wild and inappropriate’. “I know people who know people who have known Shahzad since he was a little boy. They say he was born in nowhereabad, a city in Pakistan. He certainly does not have contacts with the Taliban, if that was the case all of us would have been driving around in American army humvees smuggled to England by Shahzad’s friends.”

This is not where the story ends however as it takes a very evil twist. Indian officials have found a piece of Shahzad’s DNA and are trying to match it with that of Ajmal Kassab, the Mumbai terror attacks lone suspect. They say the piece of hair found in the hotel room, where Shahzad was staying is very similar to the piece of hair found on Kassab’s head.

“We will run some DNA tests on the hair, however by the looks of it the sample of Shahzad’s hair looks awfully similar to that of Kassabs. DNA tests might provide a clearer picture, however it does seem as if Shahzad is related to the Mumbai terror attacks suspect Ajmal Kassab.”

If this is actually the case, then Shahzad might be detained by the Indian police for further interrogation. General Hameed Gul, former DG ISI was unavailable for comment.